CRANKALICIOUS MUD HONEY FOAMING BUCKET WASH
588g 500ml £10.00 (also available in 100ml £4)
Crankalicious Mud Honey Foaming Bucket Wash looks as delicious as the stuff you’d expect to find in a posh spa. However, it’s a concentrated bike cleaner, reputedly safe on all materials and finishes. I’ve been impressed by its powerful grot-busting prowess and a little went much further than expected.
We were a bit perturbed by Crankalicious Mud Honey's red warning triangle and some dire warnings but these seem only applicable to the concentrate. Exact ingredients are “Coca-Cola secret but we are assured it’s a “very high concentrate pH neutral formula”. As with all their range, the raw chemicals are blended together in-house not bought in ready-made and poured into their bottles.
How to Use
Park bike(s) outside in your usual fettling spot. Depending on how grubby they’ve got, pour two-three capfuls into a bucket and then add warm water, working the mix into a rich, sudsy lather using your brush, sponge, or wash-mitt.
We’d advised giving bikes a quick cold-water pre-wash first, in winter to remove any road salt. Hot will only accelerate its nasty side. Oh and to avoid unsightly streaking, wash bikes out of direct sunlight.
Working top down, slosh it all over your bike, giving more ingrained dirt, typically trapped in bar wraps, under the saddle and bottom bracket shell a more intense mid-soak tickling. When you’re done, rinse off.
Michael’s an old, sorry, I mean, seasoned scrubber, so advocates a low pressure, garden hose, avoiding direct contact with bearings and seals. This prevents cross-contamination. I can see his point, when tackling several mucky mountain, gravel or cross bikes. I went the watering can route but, a second bucket of cold water and fresh brush/sponge reaps decent results.
Given the warnings, I was relieved to find it pretty gentle on the skin. Marigolds would be a wise bet for people with broken/sensitive skin, avoid eye contact and store the concentrate safely away from animals/small children.
I’d deliberately allowed fresh, steaming dung and any other grimy spatter to collect and become right royally impacted over several weeks’. Add some sticky wet lubes and similar petrochemical seepage to the mix and my fleet was as filthy as it is eclectic. Three generous capfuls and water added, my bucket was brimming with suds.
“The tractor”; my workhorse mountain bike cum beast-of-burden was by far the grottiest ,but the chemicals did most of the hard work. Gentle brush work was sufficient to see most of the slimy gunk slither into a puddle beneath. Pushing my luck, I used the remaining to tackle my Brompton and Dawes touring lorry. Any residual silty mess stayed in the bucket and didn’t port over to these bikes. This would’ve immediately made itself known in the cork wrap.
Talking of which, a bit more effort is needed to shift the sort of subtle but ingrained patina and so far, it seems kind enough on natural silicone wraps, which can be a little delicate. At the other extreme, while it certainly lifts foetid cocktails of lube, dust and leaves from cassette and chain, it’s not a degreaser in the lube stripping sense (Try Crankalicious Limon Velo). Mind you, in a pinch, a capful delivered via a brush and worked in really deep will shift more basic PTFE infused lubes.
Thrifty types will point out that 5 litre car wash n’ wax formulas will do the stripping and leave behind a protective barrier for half the money. Michael’s very fond of these as a go-to option. Nonetheless, the Mud Honey doers exactly what it says in the blurb and though blow ’n’ go bike washes are all you’ll need for routine washing, the Mud Honey really takes the hassle from more intensive and winter-typical cleaning.